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Friday, January 20, 2006

I don't get angry easily. I tend to tolerate. Well, tolerance is good. Why get angry over small things that people just do to irk you? Why get angry over things that people may not notice that they are doing? I jusy don't find any sense in it.

Someone once said to me that I have great tolerance. I just merely told him "why get angry"?

I guess, maybe that is my weak link. People know this and take advantage of it. They will tend to try even harder to irk me, to irritate me. I just tolerate. Sometimes, when I can't take it anymore, I will just tell the people off.

Perhaps, taking too much in and not returning is not good for health. When I finally cannot take it anymore and just return it all to the people. I must say, it is an ugly sight.

When people misunderstand me and they ignore me, they are asking for it. At first, I will try to repair the friendship and talk to them. I will try to understand what is the misunderstading and try to accomadte to the person.

When this fails and the person takes the it up to a higher level of isolating me. Well, they've done it. I'll will just return all the things I took from he/she and ignore he/she. And I will take it to a even higher level if isolation. Perhaps, when I feel like doing something really terrible, I will spread things about he/she. If I feel like doing something really goods that day, I will perhaps talk to my friends and say how guilty I feel and hope that my friend will be the messenger and pass the message on.

Well, I guess this is my perception of life.

My equation of tolerance:
Tolerance = Endure(Unleash)
Unleash = Tolerance/Endure


I would run round the world for you;
3:27 AM

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Everyone loves to dream. Because we always find comfort on the dreams that we have. We always dream of the impossible, dream of the things that we know we will never get. We always dream of the perfect life that we are leading. But, when snap back into reality, you find that these dreams are just false hopes.

Reality is cruel. Truth is harsh. Life is just a test of your endurance. The true definition of life is simply put in three words - Work, Stress and studies. Life is a bully. It stresses you into working and studying. All for what? And after you have achieved all that you have dreamt of, life snatches it out of your hands.

But I guess, the only good thing about life is that you can dream. Whenever you are feeling blue, the best way for comfort is to dream. Dreams satisfy your hunger of perfection, your desire for love and your yearn for comfort. However, they are just false. False hopes and dreams taken away from you as fast as it appeared by reality.

I guess, that is life. That is what life is actually all about. Everyone around you is giving you false hopes. Nobody really do care so much for you. Not even your parents. Deep inside everyone, we all have the true us. And the true us, is always selfish. We always think for ourselves first.

That is human.


I would run round the world for you;
6:23 AM

Monday, January 16, 2006

I have two huge scars on my body. One on my right leg and one on my left leg. These two scars join at my back and I have a scar at my hip. Well, actually, they are all one scar.

I don't really hide my scars. I show them off. What is there to be ashamed of? I wonder. Actually, I am proud of my scars. I want the world to know my story and learn from it. Not to repeat it anymore. For, it really did left a deep scar in me. Though I cannot remeber this incident at all, I am telling you what my mother exactly told me.

I was nine months old. Not able to speak yet. At that age, I was learning how to walk. You know, when you learn how to walk, you sit in some kind of "wheelchair" for the babies where you walk around sitting in it.

I was just like any child, young and curious. Perhaps my curiosity was overwhelming and it turned out, curiosity killed the cat.

I went to the kitchen and my mother was boiling some water. It was the electrical kind of kettle where you have a cable attached to it.

So, me with my itchy hands, climb up the table, pulled the cable and voila! There I am with the scar now.

My mother feels guilty. But, it isn't her fault. It was entirely my fault. All the fingers was suppose to be pointed at me. Sigh. I feel guilty. Me with my itchy limbs, can't keep them to the body. Haha. Well, I was just an infant. What do you expect?

According to my grandmother, my mother was there beside me at the hospital all the time. She was so heart broken that when my Grandma asked her to take some rest and eat, my mother refused. It was heart wrenching to hear that.

A mother's love for her child is greater than anything in the world. This is clearly potrayed in many books like Harry Potter. And as a child, we have the duty to be responsible to our parents and be filial.

My scars don't hurt now. Sometimes, my mother will come and ask me whether do I blame her for my scars. Whenever I hear that, I feel so guilty. I don't blame her. She was innocent and she is reprimanding herself for causing my legs to be scarred. Sigh...

Sorry mother, sorry father, sorry for everyone who worried for me. I know my faults. Please forgive me.


I would run round the world for you;
5:03 AM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

It is a new year! So there shall be a new me!

Year 2006, I am looking forward to you. I really hope that this year will be a wonderful one. Though it didn't start out quite well, I am sure everythiong will work out to be fine.

Yea! I just changed my blog image. It is going through a series of construction. This is only step one.

The next step, to upload music. then create a tagboard. Finally, I am so going to change the thigns I write in my blog. It is so boring.

So, pray for me. =)


I would run round the world for you;
4:49 AM

Name:Mao Hui
Age:15 going 16
Horoscope:Libra
Country:Singapore
School:Punggol Primary School [PPS]; Deyi Secondary School [DYSS]
Stress Level:60% now. Getting worse!!!.

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