Everything in front of me was getting larger. Things are appearing in front of me. I don't know how to describe them. They are all so random. They are starting to grow now and I am starting to shrink. It is is fast.
There is a mouse, or a rat. It is growing. It is looking at me now. The rat is laughing at me. It is smirking at me.
No! There is no rat! It is a lady with eyes as huge as those of goldfish. The lady is hideous. She hissed.
There is no more lady, it is the sun now. It is warm. The sun is not red. It is blue in colour. Is it a luminous sun burning in the presence of oxygen? I am melting. I am evaporating. Every single atom in me is split up. They are moving so quickly that I have no control over myself. I try to gather my atoms and molecules together but I just don't have the strength.
I am split up now. Every single part of my body is gone! Vanished into thin air.
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That is how I feel for now.
I would run round the world for you;
7:36 AM
I guess, I am in one of those moody days again.
One more day and my fate is sealed. Whether I make it or not, it depends on this freaking one day. Though I really hope that I would be able to make it, my head keeps telling me that there are so many people out there who are so much better than you are.
I am nervous.
When I am quiet, you won't like it. This is because I keep to myself and I become a totally different person. Many people who know me would agree with me when I say that I am someone who is very active and noisy.
When you see someone like this suddenly turns very quiet and his face becomes literally black, you know something is very wrong with him.
One of my friend who once saw me in the moody feelind told me, " You know, you are scary when you become like this."
I just told him, " Well, I can't help it, can I?"
I don't like to be moody. I want to be always happy. To be cheerful and I feel everyone's life with happiness. I cannot allow my mood to affect the others right?
So now, all I can do is to pray and wait.
Patiently.
I would run round the world for you;
2:56 AM
Sometimes, it is good to cry. Nobody will laugh at you. Nobody will tease you for being a crybaby. Let your problems come out with the tears. After you have cried your heart out, forget about your troubles. Relax and don't worry about the past anymore. It is time to worry about the future now. The road that lies ahead of you is still very long. The end point may require a few decades to reach and while walking the path, what are you going to do?
Just stay bored and continue walking? Or do you want to look at the scenary and enjoy them while walking? Enjoy the long walk? Do something meaningful during the walk?
Remember, this path is a one-way traffic only. You cannot turn and walk back. However, once in a while, you can turn and look back. Look at the past scenary.
It's your path, your journey. You decide.
I would run round the world for you;
4:38 AM
